I have spent a lot of time over the years upset at the situations I was in. I would find something that seemed perfect, move into it happily, then some time later start seeing all the flaws. To be honest I would start seeing NOTHING but flaws. After sitting with the viewpoint that it was flawed for a while I would begin to get upset at the fact that once again I had failed. I was again in the same bad situation, and here was proof. I could not understand how I had deluded myself into thinking this horrible thing was great. If it had truly been the right thing for me I would not be so unhappy and wanting to leave. AGAIN
The reality, of course, was something quite different. The reality is so much more powerful, and empowering. I just needed to come to a place where I was ready, and WILLING to see it.
What had really happened was that I had outgrown the place, person, or situation I was in and my new self was no longer a match. My discomfort was just a way for my soul to tell me it was time to move on, and find something that fit the new me. There was nothing wrong with the people or places where I was, but they felt so wrong because they were very clearly not aligned with who I had become.
Once I had this paradigm shift, I was able to release the frustration, resentment, and hurt, and stop battling where I was. I was able to have peace with my current situation. As long as there was no peace, I could not find the right people or situation for me. Those doors would not reveal themselves because I was constantly in resistance.
Resistance kept leading me to jump from one sinking ship to another. I would literally end up in the same situation just with different faces or coordinates, thinking the new ship was better than where I had been. You see, I had not been moving toward anything, I was actually constantly running away from something. The only doors that could, and would, open for me with that perspective were doors that matched the exact situation I was already in.
My current residence has become very uncomfortable. Not because it is bad in any way. There is nothing wrong with it. What has changes is me. I am no longer a fit for this place, and now that I see it, I can leave on healthy terms and move forward rather than just jumping sideways.
I am currently looking for a new place to live. The place where I am was fabulous 2 years ago when I moved into it. I thought I had found heaven. It had almost everything I had wanted and made me so happy. Today I see all its flaws, because it no longer serves my needs. This time, unlike any other in my past, I decided to start looking early. I have 6 months before I have to go anywhere, so I decided to take that time and find the right place. The place that pulls me, not just one to which I can jump.
I have narrowed down my list to 3 candidates. All have their pluses and minuses, but all would suit me just fine. I took their brochures, put them on the fridge and just let them sit. I believed that the right place would show up in the right time, and that I do not have to force anything to happen. What I am noticing is that one place is calling me more than the others, and it is not the place I would have thought would be the winner. The longer I wait, the more that one seems to be saying “Come here, this is where you belong.”
What have you outgrown in your life? If you are not sure, it is that thing that you keep around, but are constantly frustrated or resentful about it still being around. Can you see it for all its greatness? Can you see how wonderful it was for the person you were when it showed up? Can you thank it for all it has done for you, and be grateful for everything you received from it? Once you can do that, you will be able to release it easily, and clearly see the next door through which you need to walk.
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